Dating Disasters

Dating Disasters That Get Nice Guys in Trouble

You’re on a dinner date. Things are going well and you’ve noticed a smoking hot woman walking into the restaurant. At this moment, your best bet is to look straight at your date and ask her a question about herself.

Do not, for any reason, look at the hot woman and don’t say a word about how beautiful she is or how great she looks in her outfit! If you do that, you’re probably never going see your date again.

This is just one example of the kind of dating disasters that get nice guys in trouble and how you can avoid them. Even the nicest guys sometimes seem to forget the basic rules that we’ll talk about here and manage to insult and anger perfectly good dates by accident.

• Disaster 1 – The other attractive woman. Your date is cute, smart, funny and fun to be with. She’s great. If you’re out with her and you spot a woman who is incredibly beautiful and sexy, you need to keep your eyes off of her and on your date.

This is hard to do, because men are visually stimulated and want to look at beautiful women. Most women take this as an insult, especially before they know you well. If your eyes are wandering, she’s going to wonder if you will.

If you spend too much time eyeing other pretty women, or worse yet, mentioning other pretty women that you spy while on a date, you might as well plan on never getting another date with the same woman again.

• Disaster 2 – Something compels you to talk about your ex-girlfriends or wives. This has the potential for being disastrous because they’re usually exes for a reason. Your date probably doesn’t care to know how much you hate your ex (or for that matter, how much you love the one that got away), or about all the rotten things she did to you.

Your date isn’t your ex, and sharing those bad times is going to put a damper on the fun you could be having. Share your horror stories with your therapist. Exes probably needn’t be mentioned at all unless you have children with an ex and your dating relationship is getting to the point where you may want her to meet your kids. Until then, say as little as possible on the subject, and be kind and respectful when the subject of past loves comes up.

• Disaster 3 – You decide to offer your thoughts on religion, abortion, politics, gun control, foreign relations, feminism, homosexuality or any other hot button topic that could be sensitive.

A first date (or any date that’s early in the relationship) is not the time to talk about things that people feel very sensitive about. You could find that the date ends early if you push the wrong buttons. These subjects ultimately become important in a relationship, but early on, they need to be treated very delicately.

• Disaster 4 – You decide a conversation about sex is in order on the first date. If you’re looking to find Mrs. Right for a long-term relationship, leave sex out of the conversation for awhile. She needs to get to know you, and bringing up sex will make her think that’s all you’re interested in - even if it’s not true. If that’s the case, you’re headed for trouble.

If you want to date successfully, you need to be aware of the potential for disaster. Awareness will hopefully lead to avoidance and you’ll be well on your way to a second, third, and fourth get-together.